If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. My ex moved out of our home 20 days before I was due you have our baby. This emotional pain is going to make doing the no contact rule extremely challenging. Work on yourself and prepare yourself for motherhood if this is the path you are choosing. Yeah, this happened to me during my first pregnancy. In fact, you have to become so selfless that youd be willing to do anything to make sure that, that child can have a happy and healthy life. Now, obviously you should want to get your ex boyfriend back for a lot more than just his financial obligation. Idk what the real reason is that he broke up with me but he says he needs to work on himself and its pretty much lost, moving forward hes been telling me that for about a month before he broke up with me, he kept staying cause i was begging him constantly not to leave, he will stay but still felt the same so eventually it didnt work so he left, when it actually happened i went through anger,sadness, depression and really bad anxiety, he kept and keeps telling that he does wanna be with me and does want me but rn hes not on his right mind, even after that I kept begging and even told me that i would still be here for him (regret it) he did say that he didnt want me to wait cause its not fair for me but that he wanted to start over (no relationship,no attachment, just love and trying to recandle) and also said that it was the only way he saw to keep things in peace, idk how to feel about it. So, at first I provided some support by listening to her situation and offering helpful tidbits of information here and there which she would sometimes take. I'm so upset about this he was a perfect dad but as soon as he met this other woman he is a horrible angry person towards me I think he is bipolar. It just blows my mind. I met my boyfriend (baby's father) right when he was coming out of a 7 year relationship with an older woman with whom he had no children. He has some major insecurities from previous relationships. This article is extremely helpful! Ive gone strict NC since and will wait until the next appointment to tell him anything. Second of all, by dating someone else so soon after the breakup, even if it is only to make your ex jealous, you seem to be easy and your man will think that he never meant that much to you if you can move on so quickly. Hes moved back home to his moms and he states he feels happier and less stressed out. How were you to know he was lying to you? Since I was the epitome of a human incubator ( no missed period, no major weight gain, did not show until almost 7 months, and had no symptoms) & did not even know I was pregnant until I was 3 months along. Wait a moment and try again. You know him better than anyone and also know why he left you in the first place, so if you really think about it, you already know what to do to get him back. Group Black's collective includes Essence Opens a new window, The Shade Room Opens a new window and Naturally Curly Opens a new window. Wow!! Then two weeks ago he started making small talk when he would come over. I would suggest that you first follow a 30 day No Contact and do not reach out or reply to him unless it is to do with the baby, and that is only when the baby is due or if there is an emergency. l love my baby boy and cannot wait to meet him and I realized even if me and his dad didn't/aren't working out, I will always have my son who will love me unconditionally. We were acquaintances for 5 years until we became best of friends and eventually started dating. I am sorry he deceived you, lied to you, and then ran away. Be strong for your daughter and for yourself. Instead of crying and feeling sorry for himself, he should have seen that after you have a child, there are responsibilities; such as, being there 24/7 for the mother and the child. This is what will end up breaking your heart, over and over. I totally get that and I promise you that I am going to impart as much wisdom as I possibly can on you to make sure you can achieve that goal. This was my last text to him. The second you found out that you were about to become a mother the game completely changed. Anyway I left him when I was 3 months and now I'm seven months and for the last month or so he has reached out to me which was good cause we didn't speak for 3 months and if he didn't reach out to me I wasn't going to do it. Is this the first time he left? Four months after she had got into contact with me I simply listened to her vent and provided the necessary, Its all going to work out in the ends.. 3. I couldn't ever get a direct answer from her. My initial thought is to let it go for now. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. Things went really good for the first 6 months or so, then he started going out again, and treating me like crap. If you have just found out that your boyfriend or husband has left you pregnant for another woman, you are likely feeling a range of emotions - from devastation and heartbreak to anger and betrayal. I tried for 2 months to make things work and finally gave up. And what else can I do? Gone are the nights where they can stay out all night and get drunk with their friends. Should I continue the no contact rule? Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. My LO will be here soon within a couple of weeks knowing that keeps me going, I hope he'll realize this is the biggest mistake of his life. Is it the depression that is making you unable to leave the house? He claims he knew he'd made a mistake the day after I'd moved out, but his pride stopped him from asking me to come home. Required fields are marked *. I dare you to find an activity that can match the level of connection that something like that can. He tried to push abortion (something I did contemplate for him but just ultimately couldnt go through with it, baby over boyfriend) every second he could so it felt best for us to break up. I personally wouldn't have gotten back together. I guess the question you are wondering is why? I'm also scared of giving birth alone. So this is his first girl so hopefully everything goes well and his son are happy to b older brothers to my lil girl. Because of Covid-19, and having a high risk pregnancy, I havent been able to work in 6 months. He had grown distant, he got a new number and hasnt given it to me the entire 7 months because he says I call him too much and we fuss. I found out I was pregnant (we both wanted a kid. Sometimes, the love is there, but the timing is way off. Saturday afternoon, I met him, he told me he thinks its best we end the relationship. If he comes to you telling you he wants to sort things out and misses you etc, then agree to start DATING again. Understanding why can ease worry or point to serious signs whether in the early or later stages. I am sorry he has done this to you. Go to the movies or go shopping when things get really tough. Hi. Last friday however, he suddenly turned cold in his messages and when i called him he said we needed to talk. Do not try to make him jealous by using another man. Hes very stubborn, every time we break up Im the one who fixes things, he blames me for everything!!! This singular act of the no contact rule served as a wake up call for him that made him realize what a mistake he had made in leaving her and his child in the first place. Someone who would leave their pregnant girlfriend for anyone is not a guy that you want in you or your child's life. "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." One of my favorite examples to cite when it comes to this mindset came from another friend of mine. Me and my ex had dated, fell in love and decided to get married 2.5 months into our relationship. Everything was great and then his dad started dying. Modification 2- Volunteering Information On Checkups. When the high court struck down the policy . Anyway my bf age 41 has NO KIDS. This is good for you and if he sees you still living your life it will make him have second thoughts about the type of person he left behind. To hope for anything more at this juncture is asking for more heartache. Sure, crazy schemes and lies might get him back, but he will find out you were lying and then you will lose him forever. Should I have told him something i miss about him? You know, the 1% that are going through a breakup AND pregnant? He should not want to get back with you just because you are having a child, he needs to come back to be with you, for you. It sounds like he truly wants to make things right. All rights reserved. I need to focus on me and my kids. I decided to wait until i see him face to face over the weekend, to tell him of this wonderful news. He is going to wonder what you are up to and may genuinely care about you and want to make sure that you are ok. Of course, each case is unique but typically this is a very good sign. One day you will find the right man who will love both you and your LO and will give you all the happiness and love you deserve. so idk what to even do, Hi, so my ex broke up with me couple of days ago, im 6 months pregnant. For your advice and kind words, what do you think I should do about his mother I never did meet her but I know where she lives I'm worried she will never know she is going to be a nanna because I know he won't tell her I don't know if I should write a letter and tell her as I'm worried she will not believe me x. She left me abruptly one day without explaining a thing to me. He still talks to the girl but says they're not an item, however he does like her. What you do next is crucial to get your ex back. My ex cheated on me and left me. he decided to go even though I fell pregnant. so I'm using voice to text so if there's a run on sentences I apologize but I want to tell my story with miscarriage because I think it's so surprising that it might give everyone who's dealing with this terrible thing some hope.there are a Hey all my blended friends! But I agree with pp's about counselling. I didnt. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, the second Black justice to sit on the court after Thurgood Marshall, has spent years opposing affirmative action. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. What does left me behind expression mean? If yes and you have no previous pattern to compare it to I really don't know. EVERYONE around us, family and friends, were all "when are you having a baby?" You have time for him to change his mind about being a father, he could well be afraid of growing up and having to take care of another human full time. After she tried to greet me with a kiss but I nudged her off of me, she offered me a drink, which I accepted and I sat down at the table, she served me my food and sat down. That makes me 6/7 weeks now. Cause the last 2 times we saw each other we ended up having sex and obviously that doesnt change anything, its been a couple of days and I decided to not contact him again. Do you really think? Because he doesnt want anything to do with the baby, I havent updated him about any appointments or information about the baby as I dont want to shove anything down his throat. When he is ready, he will contact you himself. My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years left me to go and live in another state to start up his own business. He has never missed a day of her life until he left me now he's seen her maybe 3 hours in the last week. You should ideally have moved out before getting pregnant, but things dont always work out like that. If you'd like to get your hands on a step-by-step method for changing your ex's decision about the breakup, click here! Treat yourself well. Go after him for child support and let her deal with his drama. I would suggest that you mainly focus on yourself and baby at the moment, you need to be prepared to do a lot of this parenting by yourself by the sounds of things. Learn more about. My husband left me for another woman while I'm pregnant and now wants nothing to do with me or the pregnancy. Hi everyone, I'm brand new on here, but would massively appreciate any words of wisdom / experience that other people have. In fact, if I was a man it would make me downright angry. She has two children from two previous relationships. I fell on my back while pregnant. In general, your attitude and appearance towards the outside world should be that of complete normalcy and general happiness. I believe there are a number of reasons that he went back to her. He said he'd support you through your pregnancy and he's not even doing that. He very easily could've said those things to you and straight up lied about their situation in order to gain your sympathy or because he was upset about their breakup. Symptmes de grossesse ne jamais ignorer, Moyens naturels pour dclencher l'accouchement. Because this paints you in an independent light and should make him realize what he is missing out on. I just need to vent here, I'm so disappointed. I would suggest that you keep him updated with the pregnancy but do not reach out to him for any other reason. Stage 1- "How in the world did this happen?" Stage 2- " There is no way that this is happening to me.." Stage 3- " LEAVE ME ALONE!! So, I suggested that my friend should try this on her ex. Two weeks ago I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant. two weeks passed & he bugged me again to do it but at that point ive come to my decision that i didnt want to abort & put my foot down. Now, I dont know about you but that is a really bad situation to be in. I'd stick with more of a "Hello I used to date your son. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. I want to share my story of hope. Don't expect a lot from him. I Lost My Wife to Postpartum Depression; Here's What I Want Partners to Know About Mental Health Support, Learn About What to Expect's Pregnancy & Baby App. After he took some things of his from our house, I started NC. Perhaps I should hit the pause button and explain the timing of how this all went down. However, this time seemed different. Do You Truly Wish You Can Get Back Together with Your Ex? Because there was a complication on my pregnancy. If you do hound them for companionship or information you will be showing your ex that you are indeed desperate and that is not attractive to any man. They know that they cant be selfish anymore but rather selfless. It made him feel wanted. He says he doesnt want to be a part of the babys life but I know him and he says one thing but does another. Your feelings for him will be nothing for the love you have for that child on its way. Heres a brief overview of what you should do. The truth is that its a little too long to go into here. Ask your baby father to give you time and space to time about what you want and what's best for you and your child and use that time to get clear on the things you want to do regarding your unborn baby. Of course, I do want to point out that if he shifts the focus to anything other than your child you are not to respond to him. By January Lily has lost nearly 20lbs (she was already . In blessed but feel cursed as well how am I such a horrible person ?? He eventually asked me if I was willing to get back together (we're legally separated but not yet divorced). Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. When you are broken up with by a man whom you did not want to let go of, your thinking begins to take on a one track process. Bring this situation before God. Your email address will not be published. I cut off all communication and didnt talk to him until the day I had our child. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. I would just focus on yourself right now and your pregnancy, you will see when baby is born that this is totally his loss and that you will get over him breaking up with you. Which after He said he hates me many times. I already taught you about the my life is over mindset and her ex definitely had some of that. Not sleeping with him etc make him work to be the boyfriend again not just falling back into the same routines over and over again as clearly that is not working. Rather than accepting that his life was about to change he decided to run away from this fact and try to preserve the lifestyle he was so used to living. Of course, it has been years since my friends situation unfolded and I am a bit more crafty now when it comes to exes so I have new insight and advice for you to implement on top of what she did. Now, at the time I was extremely close to this friend so I was the first person he called to vent to about the situation. Now, I dont want you to take this the wrong way but one of the biggest advantages to being pregnant and trying to get your ex boyfriend back is that you can use these checkups as a way to get him on your own version of a mini date. You don't have to stay stuck hoping for something that may never happen. A real man would have stepped up and found a way to take care of you AND his child. I do gotta say im very in love with him still, even tho he says he loves and cares for me, and do wants to be with me but its not the right time i still have hope and its killing me. 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Whatoncewas Member Members 17 posts Posted February 8, 2016 Soo..long story short I met my wife 5 years and 3 months ago. Select Accept to consent or Reject to decline non-essential cookies for this use. I'm sorry I stole your post but you seem in my shoes almost to a tee!! I immediately called the cops and him and this girl made up a different story and because he had a witness the cops didn't believe me . Decide what you will do to secure a future without his empty promises. He then turned to emotional abuse and reminding me of how jacked up my life was at that time. He is your Heavenly Father who knows you the best. As soon as he learned of my pregnancy he completely changed the narrative of our relationship and what he wants from me, and now he says he does not want to be with me. You just cant take the connection that we had. After reading what I wrote, I feel like there is no hope for us. It sucks and it hurts like hell. If it comes down to it, your child is going to take top priority over your ex. We fell fast and hard for each other. We had been a single parent family for about 5 months. To conclude, never allow someone to pressure you into making a decision that you don't want to make. You both need to know why he left you (especially while pregnant) so you can know it won't happen again if times are tough. I am feeling daunted about the future, He says he wants to be a part of the babys life but . If this is the situation you are going through, I truly hope that everything works out in the end. Take his ass to court for child support and keep moving forward. I depend on him for everything. No matter how or why the breakup happened, they are his people and will be on his side. I told him I wanted the baby with or without him. Bottom line is that he doesn't seem like a man that's capable of providing REAL love or happiness to anyone.