What kind of logic is it that would suggest self-killing as a revenge for someone else's guilt. Now that she has left her parents to live with you, she expects you to be more loving to her than her parents. Recently, when the time for delivery was near, my husband said to me that I had to give birth to a son. Worse than all is the fate of children who are to grow up in such an environment. All rights reserved. If he thinks that there is an interest to be served by her going out to work, he should give her permission and help her, especially nowadays. Have a laugh and enjoy their company. The least she expects of him is not to go after his pleasure alone. He monitors her closely and follows her everywhere. There are many families who either have many children or are satisfied with only one or two. Sympathize with her and make her hopeful of a speedy recovery. It is better for them to allow their wives to go out whenever possible. Finally, it is reminded that meanness is just as bad as overspending. Summary of answer The wife has financial rights over her husband which are the mahr , spending and accommodation. You can even arrange her education and training through an honest and learned person. By Allah, however much your sacrifice for your family, it is worth it. Other than the Infallible ones (whom Allah has vowed to keep away from sins), no human being is perfect and all of us make many mistakes. He must discuss her mother's wrong deeds with her, and logically prove to her, their undesirable consequences. Mr. F. Muhammad writes: 'My mother-in-law is always butting into my life. Copyright IslamWeb 2023. 24. 96, "A woman Mrs complained to the court: 'For years I have lived with my husband, but now that I have become ill, he says that he does not want a sick wife'." Their marriage then loses its warmth and they might resort to divorce. He even locks the doors for us when he leaves the house. She might retaliate with a similar action or seek divorce. That is. "72, "The Holy Prophet (S) saw a man who was dirty, had messy hair and looked unattractive. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. Some couples have differences about the sex of their proposed children. If both husband and wife are not of the same opinion, then arguments would start which may end in a divorce. If a woman refuses to satisfy her husband, the husband should initially persuade her in an orderly manner. In the case of women, she may make mistakes by being impolite to her husband, do something against his wish, be harsh to him, or inflict an economic loss on him by being careless, etc. Have mercy upon them and do not destroy their lives. Some men are truly unfair, unjust, and foolish. Allah has ordained men to earn the living of his wife and children. Allah says: {Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what . (g) A man is not allowed to hit his wife if there are legitimate reasons for her non-compliance with his wishes. Be patient with him, do not shout at him, do not refuse to talk to him and do not be stubborn with him. The world takes its path according to a regular pattern. The man and wife are both involved in the action of procreation and a man has no right to blame his wife for this matter. It is obligatory for the husband to spend on his wife, according to his means, and he does not have the right to make her pay for her own expenses, even if she is rich, except with her agreement. When my husband came to know about the birth, he was upset and left the room. I asked Hadrat Abu al-Hasan his opinion on this matter. Effect of a Sound Marriage: Rights of the Husband and Wife. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. My family-members do not come to us either, because of him. Its not a problem if the wife earns more then the husband as long as they have mutual understanding. Would you not agree that, while being at home, you should rest and regain your strength in order to find a suitable solution to your problem with a clear mind? A man must also encourage his wife to read the books which may prove to be morally helpful. We must remember that we were not responsible for its occurrence and even try to welcome it with a smiling face. Enter the OTP you received in your Email Inbox. There are many cases of homicide and suicide which have occurred as a result of suspicion. ", "Imam as-Sadiq (a.s) stated: 'I guarantee a person. If he sees his wife talking to a man, or finds a photograph of a man among her belongings, or finds a letter written to her by a man, or finds a man looking at her, he would reach certainty with respect to her unfaithfulness. Seriously avoid all insults and humiliation. Wife living from husband's Haraam earnings. This is a problem in our societies. When a child goes to a younger age, he/she gets to know right and wrong. They moan at every trivial matter: "Why is this table dirty? When Wives Earn More Than Their Husbands, Marriages Struggle Thanks to a combination of societal expectations and deep-set ideas about gender roles, many relationships don't fare well when the wife brings home more bacon. He must not allow her to leave the house with indecent clothing or which arouse sexual feelings, He must not permit her to participate in corrupt activities or to attend unworthy gatherings. Thirdly, children of younger parents would reach an age of forming their own family and taking up jobs, while their parents are still alive. Muslim societies allow for up to four wives, but not without specific rules and regulations. On the contrary she will dislike such an attitude but may not express it. A man divorced his wife on the basis of her being bad-omen, because since their marriage his father had died and his uncle had become bankrupt'." Just as you work hard outside the house, your wife works hard inside it, and she needs her sleep just as much as you do yours. They will become disappointed in you and disheartened with the house. Observing cleanliness is necessary for everyone everywhere. The Prophet (S) replied: 'A man who knows his wife is an adulterer (and remains silent about it)'." If society reaches a state where women are more able to earn a living than men, this will undermine the "in charge" status of many men in their households. He must remember that because his wife draws much of his attention towards herself, his family envies her and regards her as a usurper of their young man. He than remarried his first wife whom he had divorced five years ago." If the magnitude of their row becomes larger then there is always the danger of divorce and separation. Pitiful are those men, who for a few moments of lust, chase after corrupt women and leave their own chaste wives, as if they have never known family love and sincerity. She should have stopped the car and should have explained to her husband. They do not particularly attend to their wives during the post-natal days. One must use his wealth with regard to his family and his own comfort. They expect kindness from you and want you to talk to them gently and behave pleasantly. Under these conditions a man and his wife should be aware of the possible grave consequences and, through wisdom and understanding, repel any danger which could threaten their marriage or even their lives. It is not proper for a man to assume that looking after children is a duty for women only and that men have no responsibilities in this matter. If she refuses she is sinning. Do not speak ill of Muslims and do not set out to find their faults (because) whoever picks up fault with others, would be criticized by Allah and even if such a person is at his house, he would be disgraced'."26. The mother's nutritional habits together with her physical movements and psychological behavior are vital both to herself and the life of the baby in her womb. When their wives are young and good-looking they enjoy their company, but leave them when they lose their good look. The food may be salty or salt less, your cup of tea may not be ready, the house may be untidy, or the children make a noise. "33, "Imam as-Sadiq (a.s) was asked: 'What rights a woman has on her husband, for which, if he acted accordingly, would be regarded as a good-doer?' He should try to bring her back home himself and help her with the housework so that she can get sufficient rest to regain her lost energy. As a result, your wife does her job enthusiastically, you would remain happy and your house would be a home for a happy family. I lived in his little house for six years. You would also earn more respect from others. He must bathe himself at least once a week and must wash his face and hands with soap and water every morning. Some people are in the habit of uttering slander about others. 121, "A man applied for a divorce because he wanted to get married to a wealthy woman." Feed her. He must not forget the electricity, water, gas, and telephone bills. Your attention is drawn to the following statistics. Of course, one can always advise others in order to help them not to repeat their mistakes. They might fall into the traps of corrupt people and turn to crimes of different kinds. (c) Hitting to the extent that results in changing the color of the skin (to blue or red) is not permitted and is punishable by the payment of a Diyah (fine). Such education needs patience, time, and wisdom, but a man should try to achieve it. Through wisdom and logic make her regard her problems as trivial. Therefore, no man has the right to question or punish his wife when faced with her refusal to carry out the house- keeping chores. Encourage her to be patient. He understands my feelings but says that a child would be a cause of inconvenience in our lives, and so on'. The riches of a wife doesnt nullify her right, which is the obligation of her husband. "An eighty-year old man said in the court: 'I had a good life when I married my first wife about sixty years ago. Therefore, certainly one can claim that the secret of a successful man in a happy marital life is his expression of love towards his wife. In the case titled Amit Kumar vs. Navjot Dubey, the Hon'ble High Court of Punjab and Haryana refused to interfere with the decision of the lower court where the maintenance pendent lite under section 24 of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1956 was provided to the wife who was earning more than her . I was very happy about it. "15, "Imam as-Sadiq (a.s) also stated: ' An immoral person remains involved in torture and anguish'." Be wise and patient, lest you divorce her on baseless grounds. Answer: As-Salamu 'Alaikum Sister,. . It is obvious that the latter is not a suitable place in which the eternal soul or a human being should live. so I went to my parents and now I am applying for divorce." And any woman whose husband permits her to leave the house adorned and perfumed, with each step that she takes, Allah would build a house for her husband in hell'.'' Thus if the man has supervision over the behaviour and actions of his wife, most of the possible risks would be averted. Rather she should accept that and be wholeheartedly content with it, for whoever accepts Allahs ruling will attain Allahs pleasure. 29. What are the things my husband must spend on for me? The best way is, for the man, to be kind and understanding. This woman, while stopping herself from crying, is confronted with a problem which is so serious that the couple has decided for a divorce, so that she would remarry while he would have enough time for his scientific research." Dear Sir: you are claiming to be a civilized and modern human being, so abstain from having such evil thoughts. If you maltreat her and she retaliates, it is again your fault and not hers. He, however, after marriage, should not go after other women. My husband is the youngest son. Buying goods on hire-purchase system, although makes your house look good, but takes away your comfort and peace of mind. If she cannot sleep because of pain, then stay up with her. They rarely attend to the state of their hair and faces at home for the sake of their families. "Imam as-Sadiq (a.s) stated: 'Get married but do not divorce, because a divorce would tremble the Arsh (empyrean) of Allah'." She raises excuses and is very furious in nature. He then added: 'She thinks just as you do'." If your suspicious husband ever asks you not to associate with a certain person or wants you to do a certain task, then accept his word, otherwise the cause of his doubt in you would strengthen. . He does not allow me to associate with anybody. Some men, however, react severely to the news of having a daughter. Some women may not be good cooks or talented hostesses. Wise people know that preventing oneself from forbidden looks would remove many potential dangers such as murder, crime, suicide, divorce, nervous breakdown, mental disorders, weakness or heart, anxiety, family rows, etc. 116, "Imam as-Sadiq (a.s) also stated: 'Allah likes the house which is inhabited in the wake of marriage and dislikes the house which is abandoned in the wake of divorce. Their wives become so annoyed with them that, despite having children, they are prepared to separate from them. Some people believe that women have a similar obligation too, that they ought to be responsible for familys financial condition, and thus husbands sometimes took their wives salary claiming to fulfill their family needs. Even if a man is successful in re-marrying, it is not at all obvious that his new life would be any better than his first wife. She feels good when respected and would hate those who try to degrade her. Anyway, is it a woman's fault if she gives birth to a girl? In this way, most women are prepared to conform with their husbands' occasional demands. One cannot expect a family to live without any expense. But even in such cases one should not step beyond the limits and become too strict. Allaah, The Exalted, mentioned the love and affection for the parents before those for the spouses; He says (what means): { Say, (O Muhammad): If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your spouses, your relatives, wealth which you have obtained . She said in the hospital: 'I live with my husband and his mother. These men are always moaning and do not even spare the trivial faults of their wives. After further enquiries, this man's wife said: 'My husband does not like my style of housekeeping. Unfortunately, this quality has remained with some people from the time of Jahiliyyah (age of ignorance) that they doubt the human nature of the female sex. Thanks so much. An economy which is based on loans (with interests), received from banks and other establishments is Islamically and logically wrong and is not praiseworthy. She said: 'I was working hard at home and went through many happy and harsh times with my husband. You can search for fatwa through many choices. Wasalaam !. Secondly, she should not have acted the way she did when she saw her husband. She teaches my wife to be rude to me, to leave the housework, or to expect the impossible from me. Your wife is not duty-bound to look after your child all the time that you are out of the house or on a trip. Psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz shares the most common stumbling blocks for couples with unbalanced bank accounts, and strategies for sticking together. The legal rights of a wife upon her husband are to take care of her maintenance such as housing, clothing, medical expenditure etc. But today, some women also work to supplement the shortage of family needs. This event is either an inseparable part of daily events with which we cannot interfere or that we cannot help. Evidence based on purely imaginative grounds are not indicative of any thing. I've got some understanding, Wa'alaikum salam. They regard their new bride as a threat who would be taking their young boy away from them. Whenever she is awake ask how she is. The man would then say: "Your feet smell foul!" How many righteous women there are through whom Allah benefits people by means of their going out to teach and the like, which is good for her and for the ummah. Sometimes she finds her son-in-law conforms to her expectation, and sometimes he does not. He can, through his own manners and attitude, influence her in a way that interests her in both him and his house. "A young couple took their divorce application to a court in Tabriz. 165750. Therefore, your wife cannot be forced into correcting her mistakes, but instead you should explain her mistake and its harmful effects logically so that she could choose herself not to repeat that action again. Rather clothing her should be done according to what his wife needs and his ability to pay for her clothes, without that having an impact on his other commitments, or, as the Quran puts it, it should be on a reasonable basis: Upon the father is the mothers' provision and their clothing according to what is acceptable (on a reasonable basis). [al-Baqarah 2:233]. "A man called the police station and claimed that his wife had left his house two months ago and that she was living with her parents. She has no responsibility or duty added onto her towards the house, even if she is rich or earns more money. Reflect on the example of Khadijah who was a businesswoman earning much more than the Prophet. That is why most friends and relatives do not want to be bothered with these and try to keep away from them as much as possible. Dear Sir! "46, "The Prophet (S) also stated: 'Order women to do good deeds before they make you commit wrong ones'." She has first to seek the help of Allaah, then the help of whomever she thinks can influence him, especially the scholars who might be a reason for his repentance. One might initially resist the grave consequences of forbidden glances, but finally he may break down, and become influenced by what he has seen. They expect you to fulfill their righteous desires. This is especially the case for women, because they are very sensitive and would react more critically towards unpleasant events as compared to men. In brief, men do not get along with their mothers-in- law and show their dislike for them by all possible means. Marriage is not a lustful affair and a couple cannot destroy it for trivial excuses. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Your wife has married you in order to live with you and to share her life with a man whom she loves. if you are interested in your happiness and your family's prosperity, you must take your wife to a doctor when she becomes ill. You must pay for her treatment. She also likes to see you clean and smart. Any other use of the hosted content, such as for financial gain, requires express approval from the copyright owners. A man can, through wisdom, respect, obedience, etc have a good relationship with his mother-and father-in-law. I do not understand him because we are both healthy and have enough money to at least bring up two children. Do not think that because you are close to her she would not mind you making fun of her. They might even regard their marriages as failures and call themselves 'unlucky'. Thus they can be a great deal of help to their parents when they are old. Who spends moderately, would never become poor'." "The Prophet (S) of Islam stated: 'The best of you is the one who is better towards his family, and I am to my family the best among all'." One of the causes of rows among men and women is because men mothers-in-law butt into their family affairs. Why should you look at your wife with a view of finding her faults and why do you place so much importance on her trivial defects? The problem becomes so serious that a man might, based on his mother's statements, divorce his wife or even kill her. Man has to care for her and her desires. In the age of ignorance, people used to bury their baby daughters alive. It was asked: 'O Prophet (S) of Allah: 'Who is a cuckold'? "The Prophet (S) of Islam stated: 'The best of your children are your daughters'. On the one hand I cannot live with him, and on the other, I am worried about my children's future. Therefore, it is not wise for a man to endanger his life just for the sake of seeking revenge. Be patient and treat her according to your logic. If they live like this, they would not enjoy their lives ever again, because a house devoid of family love and sincerity, is not a place of comfort. They ignore this fact that there is no angel-like figure in our universe. How can a man maintain a sound marital relationship with his battered and degraded wife? Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): O you who have believed, fulfill [all] contracts. [al-Maidah 5:1], Uqbah narrated that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: The condition which most deserves to be fulfilled is that by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you. (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 2572) and Muslim, 1418), Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: The Muslims are bound by their conditions.(Narrated by Abu Dawud (3594); classed as sahih by al-Albani in Sahih Abi Dawud). Upon a marital covenant, the individual lives of two persons converge into a single social joint life. A wise man would avoid borrowing money and would not take a loan for unessential purposes. "He stated: 'Any woman who goes out of her house without her husband's permission, would be subjected to the curse of all the angels in the heavens and all those who see her, be they jinn or human, until the time she returns (to her home)'."56. "Imam as-Sadiq (a.s) stated: 'When the above Ayah (verse) was revealed, one of the Muslims was crying and said: 'I am unable to save even myself from the Hellfire and I am supposed to be responsible to save my family from Hell as well'! The psychological requirement of affection, the carelessness of husbands with regard to their wives' wishes and the overlooking of the importance of the mental status of women, have been responsible for many divorce cases. A major problem which confronts most of the pregnant women is that during either the whole or the majority of the pregnancy period, they lack a well-balanced appetite for food, as they develop craving for certain foods while being repulsed by others. Following up a food program in this phase of pregnancy is extremely difficult, particularly for those of low income and those who are unaware of the nutritional values of different foods. It is based on these great hopes that a young girl leaves her parents and joins her husband. Unrecognized Email or Password, please try again. Be watchful of her at night. 50. This is because she might have thought it rude not to pay heed to that man, or he might have not been a stranger but a friend of her father or brother. If your husband shows animosity towards any one, then you should break your contact with that person altogether. In brief, having children at a young age is better than at an older age. Phone her when you are at work and ask how she is. So if you agree that faithfulness and sincerity are good, then try to be faithful. But the man might express his dissatisfaction. What should I do. | Sameer Bhavnani Sameer Bhavnani 1.2M subscribers Subscribe 6.5K Share Save 212K views 1 year ago #SameerBhavnani #Inspirational. Dear madam/sir! But if our bad experience is of the latter type, then we can seek a suitable solution for it. A man makes efforts and works hard on the basis of such a divine covenant. His wife, in turn, would never forget her husband's love and affection. Oppressing a woman who has wishfully married her husband, who seeks comfort and tranquility with him, and who expects her husband to share with her problems, is not right. We think of it as US making 140k-ish a year and us having to get X amount of other housework done too. On the other hand, there are people who are so weak that they cannot keep any problem to themselves. He can even ask his mother, sister or aunts about things that he does not know or can even buy books on the related subjects like cooking, tailoring, housekeeping, etc. Whereas taking all or half of her salary forcefully is prohibited because it is a form of devouring ones possession wrongfully. Why should you not express your fondness for the food she cooks? She sacrifices herself a great deal in order to seek popularity. Don't Look at Anyone Other Than Your Husband, If You Have to Live Away From Your Hometown, The Satisfaction of Your Husband and Not Your Mother, Do not Pay Attention to Slanderous Talk of the Critics, The Major Obstacle in Settling down Disagreements. A man who can close his eyes to other women, would be protected from many corruptions. In this scenario the woman is not to be blamed because even a wise and patient wife would run out of patience as a result of continuously humiliating attitude of her husband. In short, a woman confronts many problems of which some may affect her so much so that she might become desperate to such an extent so as to react unkindly towards trivial matters. If the wife earns much more money than the husband, and without the wife's support the husband can't live properly, is there any new responsibility added on the wife? He must logically explain to her the harms of keeping bad company. They then closed the door and went out for a walk. Al-Bahuti (may Allah have mercy on him) said: A woman may not be employed, after the marriage contract is done with her, without her husbands permission, because that impacts upon the husbands rights. (Ar-Rawd al-Murbi, 9271). Others would recognize them as silly and impudent. If you ignore their internal desires and if you break their little hearts, you would not be able to escape the effects of their unhappiness. Statistics and the daily news of criminal events all reflect this fact. Why should you turn your house into a hell? Too much strictness is harmful. Of course we are not saying that men do not have the right to tell their wives what to do and what not to do. He might become suspicious of the most trivial points of your behaviour. How to Calculate Zakat of Gold, Silver, and Money, The Month of Muharram and The Virtue of Fasting in It, THE STATUS OF BELIEVERS WHO FIGHT EACH OTHER, Money Politics: The Candidate Spend, Success Team Facilitate, Voter Enjoy, Curses Awaits, Gift for Physician is considered as bribery, How Evil Doing Always Disconcerts The Heart, How to Manage the Household Finance in Islam, Ruling on Online Business of E-Book Affiliation in Islam, Rulings for A Gas Station that Serves a Car Loaded with Intoxicants, Rulings for Gifts given Out of the Working Hours, Rulings for Keeping and Trading Birds in Islam, selling computers to the Insurance Company, The Right of Allah and The True Happiness. Wife Rights Over Her Husband in Islam. It is wiser to leave them to run the house the way they like. But this is a dangerous act and would not have a good end, because a murder would rarely be concealed for ever.

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