The problem is your ex responds to texts but never initiates. As a professional dating profile ghostwriter, I can help you in many other ways, too. It really does happen! A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. But then you realized you love your ex-boyfriend and you want to give him another chance. I am going through a divorce and wasnt exactly upfront with the fact that the divorce wasnt final. Because if he is not interested in you, then why would you want to keep talking with him? Sometimes its tough to accept that some guys make priorities in accordance with how difficult it is to get you. In general, you will know someone is just playing games if they always say sweet things, but their actions dont match their words. Pretty simple. It just means that he hasnt decided yet, and isnt ready to commit. I dated him for two months. good Luck, You may use these HTML tags and attributes: There was a point when I was interested but I couldn't tell if he was because I'm oblivious. After over a year of traveling, shes settled in paradise and spends her days wandering around barefoot, practicing yoga and exploring new ways to work on her wellbeing. Theres a new theory in the relationship world thats causing quite a stir its called the hero instinct. But, you need to consider the fact that he might just be shy! have decided to step back and see what he does, we're so early in dating i realized I can't overwhelm him or me with texts. In person he's very attentive to me and always on the lookout for me, giving me fist bumps, teasing me, staring at me from afar and playing pranks on me. Getting back to the question, though, why does he act like he likes you in person yet never texts you? Its frustrating, but its also okay that youre not his priority at all times. Your messages make him feel good, but he simply isnt ready for anything big right now. Why would he think it was an issue if Id never told him, after all? Now this one might come as a bit of a surprise but hear me out! Answer (1 of 6): He is your ex. He never responds to what others say except to repeat it. We are very often guilty of making decisions on emotion alone, without really giving things proper thought or consideration first. Is all lost? The thing is, he doesnt initiate texts or calls, but when I text him hes being cute and flirty. Should I be reaching out to her first?. So, I met this guy on eHarmony and we really hit it off and ended up going on a date. If theyve never had a girl be brave enough to double text or message them first, they might not be sure how to handle it. One could argue that . How To Navigate A Marriage With A Feminine Husband (18 Tips), People Think Im Stupid (7 Things You Can Do), 5 Steps To Take When You Hurt Someone You Love, 35 Little Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You, Why Do I Still Love Someone Who Hurts Me? (10 Possible Reasons), 11 Tips To Help You Cope With An Attention-Seeking Partner, 23 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Obsessed With You (In A Bad Way), Am I Too Much? (2 Ways Of Looking At It), 20 Reasons You Keep Getting Cheated On (+ Fixes For Each). this sub is for advice about specific dating situations not general debates. Wait for him to give you an explanation! Sometimes guys who are really into us will start to act shyer around us when they realize they have been acting too cool with us. The last thing you want is to come across as desperate, so trust me when I advise you to detach yourself from your phone. So, when you are texting him and he doesnt respond at all, its best to simply stop. Please help, Im desperate. No matter what the reason is, the point is that he is not interested, and the only thing you can do is accept it. Try to stop being the first to text a few times and if he cares about you hell soon come running back, worried that youve moved on! But the thing is: if he has a girlfriend or someone that he likes in his life, and you are not exclusive, then there is nothing you can do about it. Pretty simple. think that he should be doing more of that contact. In that case, you could ask him outright why he never initiates contact with you. He might reply to you just out of politeness or awkwardness, but if youre getting a weird gut feeling, you need to chat with him about where things are going. The first place you should be starting is by going over to my website, and taking my special quiz there. hes not sure about his feelings for you. Have a re-read of your messages and make sure youre not accidentally shutting things down or giving off the vibe that youre not interested in talking to him! So, you engage your ex in a conversation that is interesting to him. For example, if he has been single for years and suddenly notices that he likes you, he might be afraid to get hurt again. He likes you so much that he is scared if he texts you a lot, you will lose interest! And now that your ex is responding to texts but never initiating them, youre wondering if he still loves you or not. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. So, if hes taking longer than average with his texts, read this article on slow replies to understand your situation better. Feel free to reach out to me for help with creating the perfect dating profile that gets speedy replies. If someone doesnt contact me first but always responds when I initiate contact, then chances are that he doesnt feel secure enough to make the first move. But if you think he might be having a hard time, talk to him about it. Sometimes our feelings can get in the way of our common sense and we end up doing things without thinking them through first. Perhaps hes simply bored and is using you to pass his time.
- . So,I wanted to get your feeling on the situation, and the rules for after you start hanging out withan ex? After all, he acts like he likes you in person, doesnt he? Relationship Herois a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like communication issues. He used to disappear for a few days and then send a message. Youll find someone who cant wait to share things with you, who double-texts you, and is happy to let you know how much he likes you, dont worry. And if he is encourage him to try more with you. The conversations need to be satisfying to him, which means you need to take an interest in his life and talk to him about things that he is interested in. Dont worry too much, though. He could actually be pretty confident and just very scared of rejection. Hes not much of a texter, so I had always been the one to message first. The problem is your ex responds to texts but never initiates. If he doesnt text, see if he will take the hint on day 2 and text. Hes afraid youll think that hes annoying and boring, and that youd outright reject him. dont want their crush to get bored with them, by watching this free videoby James Bauer, Heres a link to the excellent video again. Why would he change something that he thinks is working, especially if youve never told him you dont like it? Its annoying when guys do this and it can be really confusing, but its worth bearing in mind that hes just playing games with you. Thats scary to some men who are used to being in control when theyre dating. I feel like I am making no progress. And you have to remember: no matter how shy or insecure he is, he might just be scared of rejection. So, dont worry youre not alone. If youve agreed that its okay to see other people, youre allowed to feel upset, but you cant really tell him off for it. have been super successful, made it through no contact, got onto texting and then phone calls, and about a week ago, he started asking me to hang out with him and, like, meet up. The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers. If he doesnt, then get back on the dating website and find someone who wants to reach out and text you, there are lots of men out there! Dont judge him too harshly for it, though after all, matters of the heart can be quite a challenge for many. When you do, the guy you're into is way too charming and flirtatious, making you think that he's definitely into you. Home Forums Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals He never initiate texts but always respond. When I message him, he replies quickly and seems super into me, so I guess he's not ignoring me. Maybe your ex has commitment issues and thats why hes holding off on initiating texts. Theyre likely a bit nervous about how to play things and want to make sure they impress you. Probably to pass time. In those cases, a guy might actually refrain from contacting you first because hes afraid of scaring you off. And the truth is, it should be the other way around. Let me save you valuable time and propel your business to new heights. If so, you must be wondering why youre almost always the one texting him first. We had the best conversations ever in our relationship and I really want to get our zeal back, the chemistry back and also I want him to miss me and initiate conversations. This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by sweety 6 years, 6 months ago. Take the quiz. If this article helped you, I have some excellent news for you! If he responds with only a few short words then that is not a good sign and usually means he is bored and only replying to be nice. We sometimes forget that men are pretty much just like women when it comes to this kind of thing. im just worried that he's not actually interested, because he doesn't initiate. So, he decides to wait for you to contact him first because hes too anxious about it. Speaking shortly here is why a girl doesn't text first but always replies: She is way too busy at work/school/college. Dental Practice Marketing Hacks: 3-Book Set, He Acts Like He Likes Me in Person but Never Texts Me, How Can You Tell if it Was a Date or Just Hanging Out with a Guy. Hi Simona I would allow your boyfriend some space, and if he does not get in touch with you in a week I would reach out again as he has not ended things with you right now. Every relationship is different, so you need to stop for a moment and think about your exs real reasons for breaking things off. I mean, hes clearly interested in you, so why doesnt he just come out and say that to you? Texting you always disappoints me because we'll go back and forth for a while, making each other laugh, complimenting each other, flirting with each other. My ex doesnt contact me first. If you do that, hell feel pressured to be something hes not. So stop. Usually, if its a good conversation, it will get off the ground, and there will be a high point to the conversation, meaning theres a point where you will sit back and think to yourself. It really bugs me. Required fields are marked *. How can you get them to be the ones to reach out, I want to preface this by saying that if youre even interested in getting an ex back, this isnt the first place that you should be starting. The first place you should be starting is by going over to my, My ex and I broke up in the beginning of September. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track. But it does mean that hes not making a move and he wants to see what happens between the two of you first. Required fields are marked *. Dating in todays fast-paced, competitive world can be a real challenge, as can decoding a mans true feelings. Perhaps he just wants to have a good time with you and if your paths cross more seriously in the future, so be it. Last updated: January 5, 2022 So, you two broke up and you used the no-contact rule to get back on your feet again. Its different for everyone. Attending to chores and other duties can really drain a person. It was a super normal breakup. This is a big, burning question many girls have. This means that he's not going to prioritize you if you're the one texting him first every time. Dont put it past your ex to want to engage in afriendswith benefits situation after a breakup. If you are waiting for him to reply to your message, hell think of you as a desperate and needy woman who doesnt have anything better to do. It seems your ex has figured that out. If hes always texting you and youre the only one initiating contact, or if hes being really flirty but never wants to meet up with you, then chances are that hes just playing games. Take the quiz, and then come back and listen to this podcast, so you can figure out how to get your ex to actually initiate conversations. Youre desperately trying to give him another chance but hes not putting in any effort to change his bad habits. I told him the next day and we didnt talk for a while. and our There is no one correct answer to this question. If he doesnt know how to approach you, then it could be that he has a social phobia and is afraid of rejection. Spend sometime researching the being there method and keep reaching out for friendly conversations. The. He wanted to wait until the divorce was final. In person when we talk in class it's fine and pretty easy until he starts . Now: when that happens, and his confidence goes down, that might block him from initiating contact with you. If you think that he fits this bill and hes texting you back, then you can be sure that he still likes you. Check out my blog to find out more https://www.fullyholistic.com/! So, my first initial thought when I heard about your situation was that your ex maybe went cold because hes potentially bummed that you arent as easy as he thought. Be honest and tell him that youre worried about him and that you think he might be having a hard time trying to make a move on you. ), it can make him simply stop initiating contact and see where things go (aka if you will take the lead). should i still try and pursue this. He used to disappear for a few days and then send a message. The reason for this is simple: sometimes we can get so caught up in the moment that we forget what we actually want and how far we may want things to go with certain people. I know, it sounds kind of like a lame excuse, but it is a reason why he might be acting like this! You feel guilty afterward, but reckon you made the right move because you assume that he wants you back as well. He always responds immediately and enthusiastically, saying he's excited to know me more, texting about three or four texts to every one i send. But you can turn the situation in your favor, by using the very thing that attracts him to you. He could be slipping you into the friend zone, which is why he's not putting in much effort. Here are 8 common reasons why guys dont reply on Bumble. Freelance writer specializing in holistic health, wellness, and psychology. Hopefully, this article would have provided some valuable insight into your concerns. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them. For example, when youre hanging out, does he truly make an effort to make you feel special or flirt with you in any way? Just think about it for a moment. When you tell him that you like him but that you want him to initiate contact, he will most likely follow through! It feels like you are chasing him because in fact you ARE chasing him. We also have noticed an interesting pattern emerge between breakups where theres this pendulum effect, where someone will go from extremely interested in you to extremely disinterested in you within the course of a day. If he never makes the effort to text you first, he might not want to give you the wrong impression. Its just that other girls also have his attention and it will take some time before he realizes what hes doing and how hes treating you. Your ex will have no chance to miss you, or think about you, or daydream about you if you are with him all the time, talking. Ive been doing the program, and so far,have been super successful, made it through no contact, got onto texting and then phone calls, and about a week ago, he started asking me to hang out with him and, like, meet up. how should i proceed, should i back off the texting after our third date (supposed to be tomorrow night), and see what he does? What Im thinking maybe happened here is he went a little bit cold on you, anonymous, because he was thinking maybe you were a little bit easier than you actually were. When a mans inner hero is triggered, hes more likely to commit to you. When I did ask he said he has had bad past thats why he doesnt initiates text first. A man like that will text you back because he wants to stay in touch with you. I know that its unfair if your ex does this to you, but some guys will refuse to be the initiator because theyll know youll text them first. Take that as a sign and focus on yourself. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); I specialize in persuasive copy that drives business sales and growth. Privacy Policy. How you end the conversation is also important. That doesnt mean youre not good enough, of course. They really like a woman, maybe a little too much for their own liking and they are terrified of rejection, so they do everything in their power to avoid this. And I understand how difficult can be to figure out what your ex wants because Ive been in your shoes. This is something Im sure all men have gone through at least once in their lives! All rights reserved. So dont worry! If you are going out with your friends, respond to his message but also let him know that you are out and that you will check in later. Today, were going to be talking about one of the most asked questions that I get, and thats what to do if your ex always responds to your texts, but never initiates. But allow him that time to think too. Whatever the case, this is a great sign that hes still into you, so its quite okay that youre the one who initiates some of the chats. Hes interested in you, but hes also dating others, What to do when your ex responds to texts but never initiates, 2. If she never initiates texts but always responds to your text, then it means that she is interested in you, but she is too busy to text, shy, or perhaps intimidated by you.